OOC
by DeadManSeven
Summary: Yes, it's one of those 'Eva characters wouldn't say THAT' things. Enjoy.


Derek Zischke - OOC, very OOC baby, yeah! __

Neon Genesis Evangelion (and any one of numerous cultural references contained in the following) are not my property. I am only using them to make a shallow mockery of Hideaki Anno's masterwork. So sit down, relax, take a load off.  
As for what inspired this...don't ask. Really. You won't get an answer.  


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OOC - Derek Zischke

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Gendo: Right, I'll explain what I mean.  


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Ritsuko: Anyone want some decaf?  


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Rei: _[After destroying an Angel]_ Ooohh **YEAH!** Suck it _down!_  


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Shinji: Sorry Kaworu, I'm not that way inclined.  
**Kaworu:** C'mon, how do you know you don't like it if you never tried it...?  
**Shinji:** _[sweatdrops]_  


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Asuka: Good job, Rei/Shinji.  


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Misato: This place is a mess!  


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Rei: I think my apartment needs some colour.  


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Fuyutsuki: Gendo...don't you think all these religious references are a bit...much?  


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Asuka: Hey, Wondergirl...  
**Rei:** Bite me.  


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Asuka: Shinji...I'm bored...you wanna kiss me?  
**Shinji:** Hell yes!  


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Ritsuko: This place is a mess!  


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Shinji: _[listening to SDAT]_ It's raining men! Hallelujah, it's raining men!  
**Kaworu:** Hey!  
**Shinji:** _[sweatdrops]_  


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Rei: Yo mamma.  


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Misato: Let's have a deep and meaningful relationship.  


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Gendo: Hehe, heh.  
**Fuyutsuki:** Huhuhuh. _[a la Beavis and Butt-Head]_  


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Shinji: Damn, this music is depressing. I think I'll listen to something else. _[changes tape] _Give it to me baby, uh-huh, uh-huh! Give it to me baby, uh-huh, uh-huh!  


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Kaji: Oh hi...you're a little late aren't you...Pen Pen?  
**Pen Pen:** It would seem so. Hold still while I try to pull the trigger.  


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Shinji/Asuka: _[finishing the dance in the Evas]_ Hey, Macarena!  


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*During the blackout, in NERV. Everyone is in a circle around a few candles and burning paper*  
**Shigeru:** _[pulls out guitar and begins to play]_  
**All:** Koom-by-ah, my Lord, koom-by-ah...koom-by-ah, my Lord, koom-by-ah...oh Lord, koom-by-ah...  


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Ireul: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN !?  


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Ritsuko: Bridge_Bunny rides ThaDoctor's rocket! Oh yeah!  
**Maya:** Dammit, you were up all night practising on Q1DM3, weren't you?  
**Makoto:** She can type faster than you with one hand, don't be surprised when she beats you at Quake.  


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Gendo: I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!  
**Fuyutsuki:** Do it, Brother Ikari!  


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Rei: I am the Lizard King! _[blank stares from all]_ ...What?  


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Fuyutsuki: Sir, an Angel is approaching from the North sector, what are your orders?  
**Gendo:** ...  
**Fuyutsuki:** ...  
**Gendo:** Zzz...  
**Fuyutsuki:** _[facefault]_  


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*Still during the blackout*  
**Shigeru:** Hey, anyone know the chords to American Pie?  


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The Magi: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US !  


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Shinji: Gotta catch 'em all!  


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Asuka: Kame...hame...**HA!**  


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Misato: Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire! Yeah!  


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Shigeru: In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby...don't ya know that I lo-ove you... _[blank stares from all]_ ...What?  


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Ireul: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME !  


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Misato: Wait! This isn't really an Angel! It's a mask!  
**Ritsuko:** Who is it?  
**Misato:** _[pulls off mask]_  
**All:** _[gasp]_ Lorenz Keel!  
**Keel:** And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!  


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Asuka: _[up close to the vidcomm]_ I am...so scared...right now...and I just want to say I'm sorry...it's my fault...it's all my fault...  


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Shinji: _[listening to his SDAT]_ I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world... _[blank stares from all]_ ...What?  


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Shinji: _[to Asuka]_ Wassup!  
**Asuka:** Wassup!  
**Shinji:** Rei, Rei, pick up the comm.  
**Rei:** Hai?  
**Shinji/Asuka:** Wassup!  
**Rei:** Wassup!  
_*Misato picks up the comm at NERV*  
_**Shinji/Asuka/Rei:** Wassup!  
**Misato/Ritsuko/Maya:** Wassup!  
**Fuyutsuki:** ...Those darn kids are embarassing us again...  
_*Gendo's desk phone rings*  
_**Gendo:** Wassup!  


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Melchior: I bet I could give that Steven Hawkings a run for his money.  


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Gendo: HA HA HA HA .....  


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Shinji: Why do you build me up?  
**Toji/Kensuke:** Build me up!  
**Shinji:** Buttercup, baby, just to let me down?  
**Toji/Kensuke:** Let me down!  
**Shinji:** And mess me around!  
**Rei:** And then worst of all!  
**Hikari/Asuka:** Worst of all!  
**Rei:** You never call baby, when you say you will!  
**Hikari/Asuka:** Say you will!  
**Misato:** But I love you still!  
**Kaji:** I need you!  
**Gendo/Fuyutsuki:** I need you!  
**Kaji:** More than anyone, darling, you know that I have from the start!  
**Gendo/Fuyutsuki:** Ah-hh-hh...  
**Ritsuko:** So build me up!  
**Maya/Shigeru/Makoto:** Build me up!  
**Shinji:** Buttercup!  
**Gendo:** Don't break my heart!  


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Zischke In The Jar Productions (c), 2001-05-15  
deadmanseven@optushome.com.au  
[_http://members.optusnet.com.au/~lox18/Index.htm_][1]_  
_

'Do you suffer from long-term memory loss? I can't remember...'  
-Chumbawamba

   [1]: http://members.optusnet.com.au/~lox18/Index.htm



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